Loving the Unlovable Within – Introduction

A few days ago, I released a new audio program, ”Loving the Unlovable Within.” The same day, I received a letter from a listener that moved me to tears. After reading the letter, I have decided to release this program to everyone, for free. (I returned the money of those who already paid me.)

Why? Because after receiving this woman’s letter, I decided that I wanted everyone in the world who needs the information in the program, to have it immediately, without the material being stuck behind a paywall. Which means YOU get it now too.

I have posted the audio program, in its entirety, at the bottom of this post.

Here is the letter that moved me so deeply, from listener Sarah (who gave me permission to reprint it here):

“Michael, I just wanted to send a short note to express my gratitude for your ‘Loving the Unlovable’ audio. You said that you hoped this 90 minutes would be life-transforming and I can honestly say that it has TRULY been just that for me. I’m nearly speechless at how deeply it landed and has impacted me. I was drawn to buy it from the get-go, but had no idea how strongly your perspective would resonate with exactly what my soul has been hungering to hear and integrate!

“Over the last year I’ve been inching my way towards being in a more accepting, open relationship with my ‘dark parts,’ but this audio felt like a beautiful coming-home and culmination (for now!) on this journey. I’ve also done numerous re-parenting exercises over the years and have NEVER been able to fully relax into those exercises. However, I found myself undergoing a very natural, organic and deep opening/relating on a cellular level in nearly each exercise you offered. I’m not sure how you did it, but that is a pretty miraculous feat Anyway, I so look forward to returning to this audio many times over and implementing this profound yet grounded practice in my life.

“THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sharing this work with the world! It has already impacted me more than you know.”
–Sarah, listener

I believe that the topic of this audio is the most basic aspect of personal development we can explore. When you get this piece in place–loving the unlovable within–all other personal development becomes much easier. Without this piece in place, all other personal development becomes much more difficult, and can even ground to a halt.

I hope you will give this audio a listen! Set aside 90 minutes for it. It is the material I’m MOST proud of that I’ve ever developed. I believe this audio has a very good chance at changing your life, as it did for Sarah.

I’ve also created a main page for all the follow-up classes I’ll be teaching on this topic. New classes will be posted there as I develop them. There is a Facebook group there if you would like to discuss and ask questions about the practice.

Try the audio out, and tell me what you think in the comments below!

And if you find this recording valuable, please share it with friends whom you think would benefit from it, and on social media. Thank you!


Here is the class. The audio is available for streaming below. To download it, CTRL-click on the “Download” link below and select “Save Link As” (on a Mac) or right-click on a PC.

Discovering Your Hidden Emotions

This is Class 3 of Immersive Awareness meditation. What I found consistently in my practice of this form of meditation is that, at a certain point in the meditation, I would get stuck—and I discovered that what was “sticking” me was some emotion that was present, but that I wasn’t acknowledging. Perhaps shame, fear, self-judgment, or even sometimes the hidden emotion was joy that I wasn’t allowing myself to feel! It was still there, and operating in my mind and body, but just below the surface of awareness.

I call this a “hidden emotion”—and what I discovered is that hidden emotions, unacknowledged, run the show. We run away from these emotions (or dissociate from them) because they’re scary, but they are actually causing much more pain (and repercussions) in our lives unacknowledged than if we learn to dive into them, accept them, and integrate them.

If you think you might have some hidden emotion that is running your show, just below the surface, this recording and meditation will help you dive in, discover it, and love it up so it doesn’t need to hide in the shadows so much. Give yourself 35min of quality uninterrupted time to listen to this recording and do the practice.

The audio is available for streaming below. To download it, CTRL-click on the “Download” link below and select “Save Link As” (on a Mac) or right-click on a PC.

Untangled Love

Drop Out of The System, Drop Into Success – The Dartmouth Lecture

[Below is an edited transcript. There is also an audio version available for streaming and download at the bottom.]

I’m going to open with a statement that I guarantee that every one of you in the audience is going to find shocking.

I think every one of you students in the room here should consider dropping out tomorrow.

Obviously I don’t mean that in the literal sense. If I did the people here at Dartmouth who brought me in to speak would get fired tomorrow, and I don’t want that. So what the heck do I mean?

I’ve spent the day here on this lovely campus, and one of the messages I’ve heard from various people—both students and faculty—is that there’s a kind of track going on here. It’s not unique to Dartmouth, but maybe it’s more pronounced here. That is a track of doing well in school, then coming here and doing well at Dartmouth, then going on to a “respectable” profession. The professions I’ve heard are really popular here are management consulting, investment banking, and law. So the picture I’ve gotten is of a place where young people are brought on a track from a young age and then are put into a “tracked” career.

I’m not trying to single out Dartmouth here. I went to Brown, where it’s pretty much the same thing. We have a slightly different relationship to conventionality there, but most of the people are still being groomed for, and going into, these kind of “traditional” careers.

When I say you should consider dropping out, I don’t mean that you should consider dropping out of this institution. Please don’t do that! However, I do think you should consider dropping out of that “track” I mentioned. What I hope to accomplish by the end of this talk is to instill in some of you a broader perspective on the range of careers that are possible for you after you leave this institution—which will still allow you to lead a happy, comfortable, and successful life.Read More

Ramit Sethi Interviews Michael Ellsberg

I had a blast being interviewed by one of my favorite authors, Ramit Sethi.

Here are some topics we covered:

  • The right way to ask for feedback, and the wrong way
  • The crucial difference between people who act on feedback and people who don’t
  • The delicate dance between confidence and feedback – and how to make *improve* your confidence rather than detract
  • How to know when you should ignore someone’s advice, vs. listen to it


I Will Build Your Network…

After I wrote The Education of Millionaires, I thought I was going to spend a year after the book came out talking about education, because that’s what the book is about.

But to my surprise, hardly anyone asked me about education.

The thing people all asked me was, “How did you get connected to all those billionaires?”

I thought it was normal to be able to reach all these successful and influential people. But over the course of writing my book I realized that this is actually my special power, and other people want to learn how to do that.

I’ve tried teaching this in lectures. I’ve lectured on this topic at Awesomeness Fest in Playa del Carmen, and at conferences around the country.

But, as clearly as I try to lay out the steps… I’ve found few people are actually able to put them into practice effectively.

So I’ve decided to change tack.

I’m going to do it for you.

I will build your professional network.

Of course, I can’t actually go to talk to potential people in your network for you—otherwise I’d be building my network, not yours!

But I am going to…

  • Tell you exactly what to say, on the phone and in networking events, to get in the door
  • Help you write emails to key people that will get ANSWERED (all this writing talent of mine has to be good for something, right?! This is what I’ve found to be its most economically-valuable use–networking)
  • Devise a secret plan for you that none of your competition will have, for meeting the important people you need to meet
  • Help you become the HUB in your network (not a spoke)… the person other people come to for advice, connections, introductions, with opportunities to share.

Do you have something really big you want to accomplish? Does it require the support, endorsement, collaboration, or investment of influential people?

By influential, I mean the people in your industry or field who will connect you to all the resources and opportunities you need.

The difference between meeting even one such influencer in your field, and meeting none, is the difference between your project and/or career sailing smoothly, and you feeling stalled, stuck, and frustrated.

What if you knew exactly what custom-designed actions you needed to take to meet not just one, but dozens of such game-changers for your career?

That’s what I plan to show you.



Tailored to your exact goals, circumstances, location, and industry.

If you are in a business or career and you need to find…

  • More Customers
  • More Clients
  • More Leads
  • More Prospects
  • More Investors
  • More Talent
  • More Media/Buzz/PR
  • More Word-of-mouth

… then you and I need to talk.

Also, if in your personal life you would like to find…

  • A new, more diverse and wider social circle
  • Better and more dating prospects
  • “The one” for a long-term relationship
  • Invitations to more exclusive private social events and insider parties

… this method works just as well.

(One client of mine, a divorced 61-year-old man who had a sleepy social life before our work together, is now regularly hosting 100-person parties for some of the most interesting artists, philanthropists, and entrepreneurs in NYC. Last fall, he met an amazing woman at one of these parties. They fell madly in love, and they’ve been happily together for 6 months now.)

How does this work?

We’re going to get on the phone for 60 minutes, I’m going to hear a bit about your situation and goals, and then I’m going to lay everything out for you, step-by-step. Your own custom networking plan.

If you get just ONE valuable connection out the strategy and tactics I devise for you, your investment will pay itself back. And my goal is for you to get dozens of new valuable connections, if you follow the personalized plan I will give you.

If for any reason you think you didn’t get you money’s worth, I will refund it with no hassle and no hard feelings. My goal is for you to be blown away by this value.

Ready to get on the phone with me and start building a world-class professional and personal network?


After you check out, click the link to return to my site and you’ll be directed to a page with tons of Welcome material plus a link to schedule your appointment immediately.
Thank you,


How to Connect With Powerful and Influential People

At Awesomeness Fest in Playa del Carmen, I delivered this keynote:

[Below is an edited transcript. There is also an audio version available for streaming and download at the bottom.]

[By the way, if--after watching this video--you'd like additional help putting these steps into action, in a way that is relevant and tailored to your particular situation, check out my page "I Will Build Your Network"]

You think you’re here right now for a just little dose of awesomeness. Actually, what you’re here for is a religious conversion. The particular religion of which I’m a missionary—and I’m going to convert every last one of you—is the religion of connecting with powerful and influential people. Everything good in my life has come through this power. The most important connection in my life, to my wife Jena, came through a mutual connection. My book deals have come through connections. Most of what has happened in my business life has come through connections. I’m going to share some secrets with you that are going to “super sauce” this power in your life.

There’s one really important distinction you have to understand if you want to be good at this skill, and bring all the benefits that I’ve already mentioned into your life. It’s a distinction between two types of networking: the “right” way, and the “wrong” way. My guess is that a lot of you are unconsciously networking the wrong way, because a lot of people do this.Read More

My Debate in India, Sponsored By the Hindustan Times

Here is the video of my debate at the Hindustan Times Leadership Summit, New Delhi, India.

We had a lot of forces against us. I had been in India for 24 hours, did not know the local culture, was in Goddess-knows-what time zone, the motion was worded, for maximum debate fireworks, in a highly polarized way that didn’t work in our favor (“A liberal arts education is a waste of time and money.”) On account of that wording, by show of hands only two people voted, pre-debate, in favor of the motion (my wife and my friend), and most of the hands in the room, full of 500 of India’s most elite businesspeople, went up against it.

Nonetheless, I rained debate hellfire on our opponents. If you’d like to see what it looks like when a young tyke dresses down the headmaster of prestigious Wellington College (one of Britain’s most elite boarding prep schools) for perpetuating and promoting a system in which a year of education at his institution costs 40+ years worth of the average income of an Indian family, watch here.

I also got a chance to tell, to an Indian audience, the story of how my wife got her higher education, informally, traveling in their country on a budget of $6K, for 2 years in her early 20s. That made her a mini-celebrity for the rest of the conference.

We lost the debate (the audience was still overwhelmingly against our motion in the post-vote), but we went down swinging and fighting. Dozens of people came up to me afterwards and expressed gratitude for bringing up the issue of the costs of higher education, which are so pressing for Indian families (as they are for US families). And our opponent, Wellington College headmaster Anthony Seldon, graciously came up to me afterwards after our spirited debate, and said that he thought we won the debate. I was unrelenting and merciless, and had Seldon on his knees (literally! watch the video!) after my segment. He was a good sport and came back swinging in his own segment after mine. You can watch all the fun below.

My segment starts here:

The full debate from the beginning is here:

And stay tuned on the same video (either link), after our debate segment, for a wonderful presentation by Darryl Hannah.

Introduction to Immersive Awareness

This is the first class and Introduction to Immersive Awareness. For additional teachings, see the main page at that link. The audio is available for streaming below. To download it, CTRL-click on the “Download” link below and select “Save Link As” (on a Mac) or right-click on a PC.

Immersive Awareness – Daily Practice

Here is a recording to practice Immersive Awareness, for regular use. It doesn’t have the introductory material in the Introduction; it just has the practice itself. For other teachings, see the main Immersive Awareness page. Enjoy!

[The audio version is available for streaming below. To download it, CTRL-click on the "Download" link below and select "Save Link As" (on a Mac) or right-click on a PC.]